Wednesday, March 15, 2006
The real turban cowboy
So I guess I stole 'Turban Cowboy' from someone, not that he was bright enough to come up with the name himself. His name is Vikram Chatwal, and he's the heir to the Hampshire Hotels chain. What's the deal with hotel heirs and heiresses becoming socialite STD-magnets who do nothing but buy contraceptive and sleep with each other? Here's the problem. These people are EVOLVING. They are becoming resistant to disease. They've survived virtually everything out there, having been exposed to every virus, every drug, every bacterium, etc. I mean, Ms. Hilton smokes embalming fluid. That shit will kill YOU! And when they procreate, they are going to create genetically-resilient, disease-resistant, though tragically daft, superbabies. And their genes will flourish. They will spread from NY to Tibet, from to peepee to cacka, from generation to generation. And the human race will be fucked. Fucked!
Anyway, Vikram just got married. To a model, of course. I'm keeping my name gawddamnit.
Call 800-FREE-411 and 800-411-METRO for free directory assistance. No need to use 411 anymore.
Jesus can the NYT name drop geneticists. "We are still evolving." Like a two-bit hooker in Addison couldn't have told me that. The NYT has too many field writers.
